Sophie’s Journey to Motherhood: Becoming a Solo Mum with Donor Treatment

At Bourn Hall, we’re privileged to support people on every path to parenthood. Today, we’re sharing Sophie’s story, a journey of resilience, hope, and the joy of becoming a mum through
donor treatment.

Finding the Courage to Start

Sophie always knew she wanted to be a mum, but she hadn’t met the right partner to start a family with. “I made the decision to become a solo mum using donor sperm,” she explains. Sophie explored her options, attending open evenings at both Bourn Hall and a local NHS clinic.

After experiencing a miscarriage and three unsuccessful IVF cycles with her own eggs, Sophie realised she needed a new approach. “I knew I may need to switch to donor eggs, and Bourn
Hall had its own egg donors,” she says.

The Path to Parenthood

Sophie’s journey was not without challenges. She fell pregnant on her first IVF cycle but sadly had a missed miscarriage around 10 weeks. Subsequent cycles were unsuccessful, including a failed egg collection and two IVF cycles that had to be converted to IUI due to one ovary not responding.

Determined to become a mother, Sophie made the decision to use donor eggs. Her first donor egg cycle led to one blastocyst, but the frozen transfer didn’t succeed. On her next cycle, she switched donors and had a fresh transfer, which resulted in the birth of her daughter. “Now we have two embryos in the freezer to hopefully try for a sibling in a couple of years,” she adds.

Deciding on Donor Treatment

Sophie says choosing to use an anonymous sperm donor was straightforward: she simply wanted to be a mum and hadn’t met the right person. Using an egg donor was a harder decision. “I had to come to terms with not being genetically related to my child,” she explains, although counselling at Bourn Hall helped her understand the options and reassured her about the love and care she would give her daughter. Sophie also considered adoption, but felt strongly about experiencing pregnancy and birth herself.

Moments That Stand Out

Reflecting on her journey, Sophie shares both the challenges and the triumphs. “Finding out I was pregnant with my daughter after so many failed cycles, seeing her heartbeat on an early scan, and holding her for the first time, these moments were overwhelming with love and joy,” she recalls. The difficult moments were hard too, including her miscarriage, failed cycles, and first-trimester bleeding during her successful pregnancy. “There were times I doubted if I’d ever be a mum,” she admits.

Life as a Mum

Today, Sophie describes life as a mum as transformative. “While I expected to love my daughter, I never realised she’d feel just as much a part of me as my arms and legs,” she says. Her daughter has become her number one priority, strengthened family bonds, and brought new friendships through antenatal classes. “Being a solo mum is tough at times, but I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Staying Hopeful

Sophie credits her support network, including friends, family, online groups for solo mums, and her Bourn Hall doctor, for helping her stay hopeful.

Words of Wisdom

Looking back, Sophie would reassure her past self: “You will get there in the end, and all the heartache will be worth it once you’re holding your daughter in your arms.” And to anyone considering starting their own fertility journey or exploring donor treatment, she says simply: “Do it! Having your own child is a completely wonderful and life-changing experience.” Sophie’s story is a testament to resilience, hope, and the joy of parenthood, proving that there are many paths to becoming a mum and that the right support can make all the difference.