Sally and Tom’s journey through unexplained infertility to welcoming their daughter, Amelie

For Sally and Tom, starting a family was always part of their plans. After meeting in 2010 and marrying in 2021, they began trying to conceive in July 2022. Both were healthy and had no known fertility concerns, so they initially expected pregnancy to happen relatively quickly. Instead, their journey took them through an ectopic pregnancy, unexplained infertility, IVF and pregnancy loss before they finally welcomed their daughter, Amelie.

When trying to conceive didn’t go as planned

As the months passed without a positive pregnancy test, Sally and Tom began to wonder why they were struggling to conceive. In August and September 2023, Sally experienced a tubal ectopic pregnancy, which was a traumatic experience and left them with even more questions.

They wondered whether the ectopic pregnancy was connected to their difficulty conceiving and whether it might cause further fertility complications.

After recovering, they continued trying to conceive. By summer 2024, they had still not had a successful pregnancy. Basic fertility investigations had not identified any significant problems, and Lister Hospital in Stevenage eventually diagnosed them with unexplained infertility before referring them to Bourn Hall for IVF treatment.

For Sally and Tom, having no clear explanation was one of the hardest parts of their experience.

“We could not conceive, but we basically had no idea why not. And we had no idea if we ever would. We were travelling through a dark tunnel, but we had no idea how long the tunnel was, how long we would be in it for, and if we would ever emerge from it.”

Sally found the uncertainty particularly difficult, while Tom was able to accept the situation more readily. Despite processing things differently, they continued to communicate openly and support each other.

Choosing Bourn Hall

Bourn Hall was a natural choice for Sally and Tom. It was local to them, had a longstanding reputation for fertility treatment and was also one of the approved clinics they could be referred to through Lister Hospital.

They remained in regular contact with the hospital while waiting for their referral to be sent to Bourn Hall and accepted.

Once they became Bourn Hall patients, their treatment journey began to move forward.

Navigating IVF together

IVF brought a new set of emotional challenges, particularly the waiting, uncertainty and disappointment when things did not go as hoped.

Their first embryo did not implant. Their second embryo resulted in a positive pregnancy test, but sadly this pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage.

Throughout treatment, Sally and Tom continued to face each stage together.

“We remained strong as a couple, knowing that we were going through this together as a strong unit.”

They recognised that they did not always cope in the same way. Tom tended to accept things more quickly, while Sally found the experience much more all-encompassing. Talking openly about how they were feeling helped them navigate those differences.

They also made a conscious effort to maintain parts of their life outside fertility treatment, taking holidays, going on day trips and enjoying meals together.

A cautious positive

After their previous experiences, receiving a positive pregnancy test following their third embryo transfer brought happiness, but also understandable anxiety.

“We were cautiously optimistic and happy, however very anxious due to previous losses.”

Sally and Tom found it difficult to fully relax into the pregnancy. Reaching the 20-week scan helped them feel more reassured, but it was not until their daughter was finally in their arms that they allowed themselves to truly believe they had become parents.

Meeting Amelie

After everything they had experienced, meeting Amelie for the first time was a moment they had longed for.

“It was a miracle to finally meet our daughter and have her in our arms.”

Even now, Sally and Tom describe having “pinch me” moments and finding it surreal that their little girl is finally here.

Their journey has made becoming parents feel even more special, and they know they will never forget everything they went through to bring their daughter into the world.

“We will never forget what we went through to bring our girl into this world.”

Finding perspective

Throughout their fertility journey, Sally and Tom found that keeping perspective helped them stay grounded. They reminded themselves that life continued around them, even during the most difficult moments.

They also held onto the thought that, if fertility treatment eventually worked, their child would be incredibly wanted and loved.

For them, the difficult experiences they went through would always form part of their family’s unique story.

Their message to others

Looking back, Sally and Tom recognise how challenging unexplained infertility can be, particularly when there are no clear answers.

Their message to others beginning their fertility journey is to remember that there are many different treatments and options available, as well as many different ways to build a family.

They also encourage others to give themselves permission to experience the full range of emotions that fertility treatment can bring.

“Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that come your way, no matter how complex they are.”

For Sally and Tom, the path to parenthood was very different from the one they had imagined. After years of trying to conceive, uncertainty, treatment and loss, they finally welcomed Amelie into their lives.

Today, their daughter is at the heart of a new chapter, one that they will always remember as a long-awaited and deeply cherished one.